10.20.14 : Advice, anyone?


“Well, then, honey, you cross that bridge when you get there. Right now, focus on crossing the river that’s gushing right in front of you the best you can. Yout can’t be playing the What-if? game when you’re putting planks together over white waters or you’re sure as hell going to misstep and fall in. And that won’t get you anywhere except maybe dead.

You do the best you can and then put all your good juju out in the world, cross your fingers, and wait for it to come back to you. That’s all we can ever do in this life.”

That is the nugget of advice that came flying off my fingers for a dear friend of mine this evening.

He asked if I was stoned.

I told him that that one was all me. And I reflect on my past few weeks, and it’s clear where that came from.

The most important part of all of that is the part where “you do the best you can.” Because if you fail at that step, well, then there’s no taking back the feeling of regret that might follow when things might not fall into place the way you hope they will.

It’s been a good day. With the return of grades, I took stock of where I am in my classes. I didn’t want to spend all of my term doing schoolwork, not this semester, not this year, but here I am. And you know what? I am going to be working the rest of my life. If everyone around me wants to get out in the working world this year, fine. They can go. Why should I follow if I don’t really have any solid plans in that world yet…? I like school–not 100%, but to a large extent. I like enjoying my classes. I was looking forward to this opportunity to study my WHOLE LIFE, and now I’m suddenly left with three-fourths of my final year left. And I just don’t want to waste it, is all. I haven’t really enjoyed much of this whole experience, but I really really want my last bit to be different. It has to be. It just has to be.


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